Spanking

Okay, yes a very controversial topic, but one i am struggling with right now and could use some imput on. I used to not have a problem with spanking until i had a child and then read a lot of stuff on spanking vs not spanking. right now i use time outs and they seem to work ok i guess. I don't want to harm my child by not discipling him properly. The problem is that a lot of people say that if you don't spank, your child will become unruly and undisciplined etc and it seems that they think the only way to have an obedient child is to spank.. However, my parents spanked us when we were kids and all, except me (oldest child syndrome), rebelled. I know someone whose parents never spanked him and he never rebelled. Now it could be a personality thing, who knows. My question is do any of you know people who weren't spanked and turned out okay.

Community

I have been thinking a lot lately about community. Mostly this stems from a book I recently read by Claiburn (blanking on his first name right now) called irresistable revolution. I really like the idea of community. It means sharing, reaching, and caring with and for those around you. It means moving away from my individualistic tendencies and becoming much less me centered. It is, i think, my ideal. However, it is an ideal that i've realized doesn't at all come naturally. Sure I want to share, but do I want to share when I don't have much myself or when it's my favourite thing, and what if it gets broken or wrecked and I never get it back. Sure I want to share more of myself, my thoughts, dreams, hurts but then too what if the person i share with laughs at me behind my back or shares things that mean a lot to me with someone I don't even know. But, i do want to let go and yet I don't want to because it sure is safe and comfortable in my individual world, although, often a tad boring.

Don't you ever wonder if there is more to this life we are living? I do and supposedly b/c i am apparently a christian (all though sometimes i wonder) I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. I know that I am often tired of being entertained, tired of the mundane and I want to live a more gritty, real existence where I reach out more to others, spend my time on more worthwhile things. Yet, I feel trapped, unable to change and break out of this prision (and yes to me it feels like a prision alibet a comfortable one). I read of people intermingling their lives with others and reaching out tirelessly to those that are hurting around them and I long for their lives. And this book, oh i just remembered his first name: shane, made me long once again.

A working girl again

So, a week ago Ken and I were talking about all the expenses we have coming up, car needs a timing belt (wow, is that expensive by the way) and water pump, family holiday we realized is going to cost a lot more than we figured and we realized that our savings is little by little shrinking away, b/c Ken just doesn't make enough to cover all these extra things. So I said to him, I think I need to get a job.

Now I was thinking maybe something at night, there are trillions of fast food places around here that are always looking for people. I know with my education I should be able to get something better, but I can't leave Joshua during the day b/c I would only feel comfortable leaving him with his grandparents (and they live in Abbotsford) and b/c it takes a really really long time for him to get comfortable with someone he doesn't know. For example, he will rarely let our landlady pick him up ( he squeals if she does) and he sees her almost everyday. Plus I don't really want to miss out on these years if i don't have to. It goes so fast. I can't believe he is almost two. Anyway, I can't say I was really excited about working in fast food, but extra cash flow would be great.

Then wouldn't you know it the day after Ken and I where talking about me working, I got a phone call from a friend at work who needed someone to look after her son, who is one. I wasn't sure at first. You know thought it might take away from Joshua and how would napping work etc. But after talking it over with Ken and a few other people I realized this was probably the best option for getting some extra money. So here I am looking after another kid and although this is only day one it seems pretty good so far. They both nap at the same time too---bonus!!! So once again I am a working girl.

life

So, my parents are finally back from Egypt. For those of you who don't know, they have been in Egypt for the past two years. My mom was teaching at a school out there. So, it's great to have them back. I spent a week out in Abbotsford with them while Ken was in Gautemala on a missions trip. I thought it would be good for Joshua to spend some extended time with his grandparents so that he could get to know them. Joshua is a little funny with people, especially older women, for some strange reason. He does not like to be picked up or touched by people he doesn't know very well, but seems to have a particular aversion to women over men. For instance while he was very upset that my mom sat beside him in the car, he actually turned his head away from her and was trying with his whole body to get as far away from her as possible, he didn't have a problem with my Dad being next to him. He would take my Dad's hand, but if my mom tried to touch him or hold him he would squeal. Very Strange. He did get a little better with my mom by the end of the week though.

In other news, my husband got sick as soon as he got back, so for a while there I was taking care of him and my son. Phew, what a lot of work that was. thankfully he got better, but it was the longest bout of sickness he's had since i've known him.

Not much else. We are going camping next week for the first time with Joshua, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. It will also be really nice to going away with just us, even if only for a short time.

At the end of the month we are going to a cabin with my family and i'm really looking forward to that. we all had a great time in Mexico when my youngest sister got married, so it should be a lot of fun. Hopefully all will go well with Joshua in the sleeping department.

Well, not a very exciting post, but just wanted to catch you up on life, since it's been a while since i blogged.

Update

Sorry for not posting this sooner. It's been a little crazy around here. They say when it rains it pours and that sure has been the case around here lately. So Anna's father-in-law is doing much better, so thank you all for your prayers. He is now in a step down unit. They have put something (can't remember what it was now) in his chest in case his hear short circuts again. They are however still completly baffled by what happened, as nothing seems wrong with his heart anymore. They are trying to figure it out, but are stumped and they have some of the best heart doctors at ST Pauls. However, he has suffered some brain damage. His short term memory is poor and his behavior is really erratic. Most of the damage seems to have been in the frontal lobe. So this is hard on the family of course. If things don't improve he won't be able to drive and he won't be able to run the farm in the same way. So we are praying now that this will only be short term and that he will recover, particularly that his erratic behaviour will go away as that is the most difficult change to deal with.

Need Prayer

Hi everyone who reads, i writing to enlist the aid of some of you prayer warriors out there. My sister, Anna's, Father-in-law is in the hospital in critical condition right now. He has an issue with his heart and they don't know what is wrong. On saturday they had told the family to come and say their goodbyes because they didn't think that he would make it. Fortunetly they were wrong. He is stable somewhat now, but has been sedated the whole time, so even if they figure out what is wrong with his heart and can fix it, there is a possiblity that he is brain damaged, but they won't know until they stop sedating him, and it can take three weeks for the drugs to wear off and for them to know for sure. So it's a long road ahead still. We have been fervently praying for healing and restoration, but if some of you could also pray that would be awesome. The more prayers the better, i say, which is why i am writing this. I know it's hard sometimes to pray for someone you don't know, but would really appreciate any prayers you could give up on his behalf.

thanks so much!!

Reflections

My sister-in-law gave birth to her third child three weeks ago, a girl they named Hannah. Unfortunetly she had to have a c-section, so the family has been pitching in to help her with her kids, as she is not supposed to pick anything up for six weeks. That's gotta be tough. Not being able to pick up your child and comfort them when they are upset, or do a lot of the basic tasks of motherhood. I went out to help her and my in-laws for a bit, although i'm not sure that they really needed my help in the end. Though it sure was fun watching Joshua and his cousin Noah play together. for those of you who don't know they are only six weeks apart and really starting to interact and it is so darn cute. They will copy each other, especially with noises. Joshua pushed his cousin in the stroller around the park, which was really priceless.

Anyway, during that week I realized that when my younger sister had a baby just over nine years ago now, she too had a c-section and it never dawned on me that it might be really tough on her afterwards and i never thought of seeing if she needed help. I felt really bad about my thoughtlessness. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to go back in time and re-do things. But I can't.