First Hair Cut

Okay, for the life of me, I can't get this durn program to cut and paste, so this is all out of order. what i wrote should be first, before the pictures. This picture should be second. this of course is Ken cutting Joshua's hair.



aaaahhh...now it won't let me write under this picture. this is Joshua before the haircut...




After the Hair cut...From the back
Front view....isn't he cute...i'm biased of course.


So Joshua got his first hair cut this week. Yes, all his beautiful curly locks were cut off and he looks quite different now, older in some way. Ken cut it. I can't cut anything straight, which by the way, is why i hate any breads or buns that aren't presliced (just thought you might like to know that). Anyway, the reason for cutting it is that Joshua was starting to have Albert Einstein hair and people were continually thinking he was a girl. in fact, just the day before his hair was cut, this mom at the playground said to her child, "watch out for the little girl," grrrrr! That was the last straw. When Ken came home that night i said, we are cutting his hair. He was a little reluctant, because he really liked his curls and who knows if they will grow back, but he did it. So now Joshua is shorn, like a sheep:)! And i think it looks quite nice!

Freedom

Well, I had my first whole half day to myself this past weekend. I finally bit the bullet and decided that Daddy could try and get Joshua down for his nap without me for once. Now you are probably thinking what's with that, how come I need to be there. Well, basically it's because I am still breastfeeding and Joshua gets a feed before his naps. You might wonder, why I couldn't in the past have left a bottle with my husband, so that i could get out for longer than a couple of hours during the day (nights aren't a problem, no worries there, just daytime)! Well, to answer that my dear son has never taken to the bottle. We tried numerous times and he refused it. I know of someone who didn't feed their child until they took the bottle, but I wasn't willing to go that far in order for some freedom.

So, an opportunity came up to help mann a booth for Compassion Canada at a boundaries conference and I decided to go for it, b/c i figured it was about time that Joshua learned to let other people besides me feed him and put him down for his naps. So, i left Ken with a bottle and instructions on the routine to follow before putting him down for his nap and ....it worked and for the first time ever he actually sucked back some formula from the bottle ( i know whole milk is supposed to be okay now, but still feel he could use the extra nutrients, vitamins etc in formula as opposed to whole milk). Anyway, i have to say it was the most liberating experience to come home and find he was fine without me. I missed him, but I can't wait to do it again.

The ironic part of it all of course is that it's just when he should be weaned off the bottle to a cup that he chooses to drink from the bottle.

Winter Wonderland

Well, we just got the biggest dump of snow yet this winter and I've loved it. Of course the rain has now come back and is washing it all away. But while it was here, it sure was a lot of fun. I took Joshua for his first tobogging trip down the little hill across the street from us. My tobbogan consisted of a black plastic bag, but hey it worked, although we didn't really go down all that fast. I think on the whole, I might have had more fun than Joshua did. There was no laughing from him, not like when i let him go down the slide at the park by himself for the first time. But there was no crying either. He was pretty passive about the whole event and here I thought I was being such a great mother, giving him this fantatstic toboganing experience. Hmmm, maybe he wanted more speed??? Who knows! What I would love, is to go with Ken, but unfortunetly by the time the weekend rolls around the last remanants of snow will be gone and our car probably wouldn't make it up a mountain (sigh). Maybe next year though. Oh, did I mention, I love the snow!!!

Glorious sunshine

oh how sweet it has been to have the sun out the past three days. It has been really mild too, an added bonus. Joshua and I have spent the last couple of days out at the park and I sure have been enjoying it. There is something so tranquil and calming about a mild sunny day. I have loved just watching Joshua run around and investigate his surroundings. One funny incident happened yesterday. While at the park, Joshua knelt down and I thought to myself what on earth is he doing. Then he flopped down onto his back this big grin on his face. It was of course not on the nice dry ground, but in a nice wet area. I picked him up, only to see him do the same thing, over and over and over again. I'm not sure why that was so much fun for him, but for some reason it was. So his Jacket was very nice and dirty and so was the stroller after I put him in. Oh, well, he had fun, so must not mind the dirt!!

I have to vent

I have to vent. I hope my readers won't mind if i do. i just finished listening to a focus on the family broadcast. Dr Dobson was talking to a former Abortionist. I could not handle it. It has been over an hour since i heard it and it is weighing so heavy on my heart right now. It literally tears me apart to think of all these beautiful little babies being torn apart and killed because they are not wanted. I need to do something. I want to go to the clincs and beg, yes beg, people not to do this. I imagine offering to take their babies for them , pay them, anything just so that they will let their child live. I don't think that will actually happen, but i imagine it in my head. However, i do want to do something. I can't any longer just sit and listen to this stuff and go on with life and close my eyes to it. So, if any of you have any ideas for me, i would appreciate it.
Thanks for letting me vent.

I had a dream...

that I was at the indoor playground near us with Joshua when I took my eyes of Joshua for a second because this lady was asking me questions and he disappeared. When I turned back to him, he was gone. And then I woke up! It was very scary. Then...that day I went to the playground with Joshua...can you guess what's coming next??? And he literally disappeared, although the circumstances surrounding his disappearance where different from the dream, as I decided to watch him come down the slide (usually I stand behind him while he goes up the steps). Now this slide is in the shape of a bus and therefore has high sides and so you can't really see the kids as they start up the stairs, although there are only 3 or 4 stairs. Anyway, I was waiting to see him come down the slide and he didn't come down and he didn't come down. Thinking it was strange, I went to look for him. He was not on the stairs. He wasn't anywhere in the playground. I looked twice thinking I must have missed him somehow, just totally not believing that this was actually happening. I looked outside the playground and didn't see him anywhere. My mind was completly blank. I wasn't scared. The whole thing just felt so unreal, like a dream. Then all of a sudden I thought.... pet store. See there is a pet store near the playground and Joshua loves going there to look at the dogs. So I looked in the direction of the pet store and there he was toddling down the hall towards the pet store. Needless to say I took off, in my socks, and grabbed him. So the story has a happy ending...thank goodness! But it's strange that I had a dream about the very thing that happened right before it happened.

Burning the midnight oil writing random thoughts

well, it's late and I can't sleep, must be the 1/2 can of coke i had, so thought I would finally post something on this blog of mine. I just looked at the date of my last blog and realized it's been over a month since i posted. I think it was partly because i was hoping to get more out of doing this blog thing than I have, so I kind of lost the incentive to write. Anyway, not much new in my life. Well, that is except that for the past couple of weeks Joshua has finally been mostly sleeping through the night....now if he would only sleep past 6 in the morning:)!! But, maybe I shouldn't say anything, because i find that everytime I do, he starts waking up at night. I think maybe God is trying to teach me to be humble!!

on to other things. Christmas came and went. It's not the same as when i was younger. I used to love Christmas, but it's gotten tainted for me and actually Ken and I aren't really celebrating Christmas as a family anymore (a looong...loooong story), just doing extended family stuff.. so i didn't do any of that babies first christmas stuff (which was a bit sad)! Although it was fun watching him open presents at my sisters place. He did some good work on the wrapping paper.

I can't believe he's now 13 months old. just a year ago he was so tiny and helpless and now he's roaring around with unstoppable energy, tearing the house apart. Sometimes I think I spend most of my day picking up after him. I really enjoy doing things with him. We wash dishes together (well, i wash, he plays in the water) and yesterday I even attempted making cookies with him and it actually surprisingly enough went quite well, although it was really messy and I think he wanted to do it again today because he kept trying to move the chair over to the counter. I find that doing these kinds of things with him is the only way i can stay sane as i'm at home by myself so much, what with no car and very few friends around who can visit me, and now with the horrible weather it's even harder to get out and I can only take playing with toys for so long and our place is so small only so much cleaning can be done. So some days are really hard and long and seem really purposeless and other days are great. I've just been doing mucho soul searching the last while and am finding myself restless and yearning for something more than life as i know it now. My life seems empty and meaningless and I think it is simply because I need more of God, but don't know how to get it, or maybe more that I'm not ready yet to give up, what i know i need to give up in order to have more of him. Funny how I hold onto things that are empty and find it hard to let go. makes no sense really. Anyway, enough of that. I think i'll end here before i get all depressing. hope you all had wonderful times with your families over the holidays!! May God richly bless each of you this next year!!!