Winter Wonderland

Well, we just got the biggest dump of snow yet this winter and I've loved it. Of course the rain has now come back and is washing it all away. But while it was here, it sure was a lot of fun. I took Joshua for his first tobogging trip down the little hill across the street from us. My tobbogan consisted of a black plastic bag, but hey it worked, although we didn't really go down all that fast. I think on the whole, I might have had more fun than Joshua did. There was no laughing from him, not like when i let him go down the slide at the park by himself for the first time. But there was no crying either. He was pretty passive about the whole event and here I thought I was being such a great mother, giving him this fantatstic toboganing experience. Hmmm, maybe he wanted more speed??? Who knows! What I would love, is to go with Ken, but unfortunetly by the time the weekend rolls around the last remanants of snow will be gone and our car probably wouldn't make it up a mountain (sigh). Maybe next year though. Oh, did I mention, I love the snow!!!

Glorious sunshine

oh how sweet it has been to have the sun out the past three days. It has been really mild too, an added bonus. Joshua and I have spent the last couple of days out at the park and I sure have been enjoying it. There is something so tranquil and calming about a mild sunny day. I have loved just watching Joshua run around and investigate his surroundings. One funny incident happened yesterday. While at the park, Joshua knelt down and I thought to myself what on earth is he doing. Then he flopped down onto his back this big grin on his face. It was of course not on the nice dry ground, but in a nice wet area. I picked him up, only to see him do the same thing, over and over and over again. I'm not sure why that was so much fun for him, but for some reason it was. So his Jacket was very nice and dirty and so was the stroller after I put him in. Oh, well, he had fun, so must not mind the dirt!!

I have to vent

I have to vent. I hope my readers won't mind if i do. i just finished listening to a focus on the family broadcast. Dr Dobson was talking to a former Abortionist. I could not handle it. It has been over an hour since i heard it and it is weighing so heavy on my heart right now. It literally tears me apart to think of all these beautiful little babies being torn apart and killed because they are not wanted. I need to do something. I want to go to the clincs and beg, yes beg, people not to do this. I imagine offering to take their babies for them , pay them, anything just so that they will let their child live. I don't think that will actually happen, but i imagine it in my head. However, i do want to do something. I can't any longer just sit and listen to this stuff and go on with life and close my eyes to it. So, if any of you have any ideas for me, i would appreciate it.
Thanks for letting me vent.

I had a dream...

that I was at the indoor playground near us with Joshua when I took my eyes of Joshua for a second because this lady was asking me questions and he disappeared. When I turned back to him, he was gone. And then I woke up! It was very scary. Then...that day I went to the playground with Joshua...can you guess what's coming next??? And he literally disappeared, although the circumstances surrounding his disappearance where different from the dream, as I decided to watch him come down the slide (usually I stand behind him while he goes up the steps). Now this slide is in the shape of a bus and therefore has high sides and so you can't really see the kids as they start up the stairs, although there are only 3 or 4 stairs. Anyway, I was waiting to see him come down the slide and he didn't come down and he didn't come down. Thinking it was strange, I went to look for him. He was not on the stairs. He wasn't anywhere in the playground. I looked twice thinking I must have missed him somehow, just totally not believing that this was actually happening. I looked outside the playground and didn't see him anywhere. My mind was completly blank. I wasn't scared. The whole thing just felt so unreal, like a dream. Then all of a sudden I thought.... pet store. See there is a pet store near the playground and Joshua loves going there to look at the dogs. So I looked in the direction of the pet store and there he was toddling down the hall towards the pet store. Needless to say I took off, in my socks, and grabbed him. So the story has a happy ending...thank goodness! But it's strange that I had a dream about the very thing that happened right before it happened.

Burning the midnight oil writing random thoughts

well, it's late and I can't sleep, must be the 1/2 can of coke i had, so thought I would finally post something on this blog of mine. I just looked at the date of my last blog and realized it's been over a month since i posted. I think it was partly because i was hoping to get more out of doing this blog thing than I have, so I kind of lost the incentive to write. Anyway, not much new in my life. Well, that is except that for the past couple of weeks Joshua has finally been mostly sleeping through the night....now if he would only sleep past 6 in the morning:)!! But, maybe I shouldn't say anything, because i find that everytime I do, he starts waking up at night. I think maybe God is trying to teach me to be humble!!

on to other things. Christmas came and went. It's not the same as when i was younger. I used to love Christmas, but it's gotten tainted for me and actually Ken and I aren't really celebrating Christmas as a family anymore (a looong...loooong story), just doing extended family stuff.. so i didn't do any of that babies first christmas stuff (which was a bit sad)! Although it was fun watching him open presents at my sisters place. He did some good work on the wrapping paper.

I can't believe he's now 13 months old. just a year ago he was so tiny and helpless and now he's roaring around with unstoppable energy, tearing the house apart. Sometimes I think I spend most of my day picking up after him. I really enjoy doing things with him. We wash dishes together (well, i wash, he plays in the water) and yesterday I even attempted making cookies with him and it actually surprisingly enough went quite well, although it was really messy and I think he wanted to do it again today because he kept trying to move the chair over to the counter. I find that doing these kinds of things with him is the only way i can stay sane as i'm at home by myself so much, what with no car and very few friends around who can visit me, and now with the horrible weather it's even harder to get out and I can only take playing with toys for so long and our place is so small only so much cleaning can be done. So some days are really hard and long and seem really purposeless and other days are great. I've just been doing mucho soul searching the last while and am finding myself restless and yearning for something more than life as i know it now. My life seems empty and meaningless and I think it is simply because I need more of God, but don't know how to get it, or maybe more that I'm not ready yet to give up, what i know i need to give up in order to have more of him. Funny how I hold onto things that are empty and find it hard to let go. makes no sense really. Anyway, enough of that. I think i'll end here before i get all depressing. hope you all had wonderful times with your families over the holidays!! May God richly bless each of you this next year!!!

Seven Random Facts

Well, I started this awhile ago, but haven't really been in a writing mood, so thought today I should really stop procrastinating and get this list done.

I've been tagged by Heidi and Korinne http://www.nothingbutbluesky.blogspot.com andhttp://www.mercyfulmusings.blogspot.com
(how did you guys get just the name to click on? i couldn't figure out how to do it.)
Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself

4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

Fact One:
I do not have a middle name. I'm not really sure why my parents only chose to give me a first name. Only one of my sisters has a middle name; it's Marie, but the rest of us all got shafted.

Fact Two:

I love chips. I would pick chips over chocolate or sweet things anyday. Give me a book and a bag of chips and I am in heaven.

Fact Three:
I am also a people pleaser. I hate having people upset at me. I want everyone to like me. I, like you Heidi, will stress out over having people over to dinner. The house has to be perfectly clean and I have to have the perfect meal. Right now I'm trying not to stress out over Joshua's birthday party.


Fact Four:
I am very competitive. Most people are surprised when they find this out, as I guess I come across as a "nice" girl (if only they knew). When I was a child we would have family game and treat night. One of the games we often played was called happy families. Well that game was only happy if I got the wriggly (gum) family and won of course. If I didn't, well would I get mad. Oh, I also remember making a friend upset, because I got mad at her because she was beating me at Sorry. And, I hate playing games with my husband because he almost always wins, so no fun. Then when it comes to sports, I can be very aggressive, which also really surprises people. I have gotten better over the years, but I still don't like losing.

Fact Five:
When I was younger ( I don't think I'm so bad now) I was very stubborn and independent. I never got homesick and for me going a way to camp was a big adventure and I felt very grown up. so that's the independent part. This story exemplifies my stubborn streak. One day after school, my Dad showed up to pick us up from school out of the blue. You would think I would be pleased about this, after all who would want to take the bus when you can go in a car. I was not! I refused to go home in the car. I was going on the bus, thank you very much. So, my Dad gave in and let me go home on the bus. Yes, strange child I know.

Fact Six:
I didn't get my eyebrows done until I was in my 20's. They were very nice and bushy before that. I think it's because I never really cared much about my appearance. I don't know why exactly. I don't think I really clued in to the importance of appearance ( i still don't really think about it too much). I always thought personality was more important (yeah, not so smart)

Fact Seven:
wow, this is harder than I thought it would be. I'm getting a little stuck here. what else...hmmm I guess that I grew up in New Zealand and I also lived in England for a while, but I think most people know that. oh, i know the next place I'd love to go is Israel.


now, i'm supposed to tag someone, but i don't really have anyone to tag, as Heidi and Korinne are the only people i know who do blogs ( the other blogs i have links to are missionaries blogs). So, can I tag anyone out there who reads this, that i don't know does, and you can let me know and then I can go read yours.

Glad that's over

Well, I haven't been able to post for a while, so thought I'd do a couple just to catch up. We had quite the event over the weekend.
I had mentioned in a previous post that Joshua had a bad cold. Well, that cold just got worse. His cough went from a dry cough to a wet cough and he was coughing so hard that he was puking up food. He refused to eat solids and the one time we did get some down him, he vomited it up. He then also developed a fever. So, we thought okay we'll ride this out, it will get better in a few days and then Saturday night he woke up and he was so hot and he was breathing really fast and coughing like anything, so we called the nurses line and she suggested we take him into emergency (this was close to 12). Fine, so we got up, changed, and drove down to emergency (which thankfully is only a few minutes away). Checked in and I thought that because he was a baby we'd get in pretty fast to see a doctor. Nope! We were there for 3 hours waiting. We did get some entertainment, as there was a lady screaming, I'm dying...get me some orange juice..if you don't get me some orange juice, I'm going to die..Obviously a little high on something.....oh there was also some classic very kid friendly tv on (not)! Pretty much it was a porn show masquerading as a reality show--puke ( i think it was called a shot of love).
Anyway, they eventually called us and the doctor eventually showed up and said I think he might have pneumonia. Not good! So we had to go and get chest xrays done. Also not good! Joshua seemed fine at first, he was even waving at the x-ray tech and then he started eyeing the machine and seemed to realize something was going on because he started crying even before Ken sat him on the box. It was horrible. He was screaming and saying ni ni ni ni (which I think is his no), waving his arms around and pleading with tears streaming down his cheeks for me to pick him up, but i couldn't, yet i so wanted to. Boy was I glad when that was done. The x-rays came back clear, so we were sent home and he's fine now thank goodness. Although being out from 12ish to 4 in the morning didn't do wonders for his sleep schedule (sigh).. All that work to get him to sleep until 5ish and now it's out the window, back to the 11ish wake up (sigh)! Oh, well, I'm just thankful he is okay and now almost over that nasty cold.